Rape is in fashion: It's time to rethink how we dialogue

The fashion industry is a dangerous place, and the seductive facade of glamour and perfection just makes it even more treacherous. This Spring and Summer, high fashion runways and enchanting photo shoots across the world will be hiding the modeling industry's most disgusting secret which is the number of sexual assault victims hidden among the ranks of models.

Rape has been called the murder of another human beings soul, and it is defined as "a sexual assault is any sexual act that a person did not consent to, or is forced into against their will" by NHS Choices. With that in mind, how is it that people can refer to woman they don't respect as "un-rapable" as Damon Wayans had said of Bill Cosby's accusers? The issue is bigger than Bill Cosby, and ordinary people, just like those reading this article, may be promoting the horrible crime of rape with their responses and reactions to sexual assault survivors without ever knowing it.

Because sexual assault is kept secret, it's almost like a brutal hazing that occurs to many individuals involved in the fashion industry. Reporter Hadley Freeman, of The Guardian reported in her article "Sex abuse of models is fashions dirty secret" that "it is impossible to say how common assaults on models by people in the business are because so few are reported, partly for the usual reason assaults often go unreported (a sense of shame on the woman's part), but also because of some factors specific to the fashion industry: models are often very young; they fear they won't work again if they "cause a fuss."

Back in 2009, the story broke about designer Anand Jon Alexander. Freeman reported, "...his clothes have been worn by Paris Hilton, he has appeared on America's Next Top Model... He was sentenced to 59 years in prison, having been found guilty of 16 counts, including sexual battery and performing lewd acts on a child. In other words, Alexander, 35, had for many, many years been raping models who worked for him, some of whom were only 14 at the time. These 16 counts only relate to charges in California – he is still awaiting similar charges in Texas and New York. Yet this was barely reported in the UK, and even the US coverage was pretty limited...Even more than eating disorders, the fashion industry's real dirty secret is the sexual abuse of models, male and female..."

Are these the un-rapable women Damon Wayans was referring to? Rather than being an isolated incident, research is showing sex abuse in the industry is as much a trend as classic pearl necklaces or the "little black dress" every woman keeps tucked away in her closet. It's a trend that has refused to go away.

Miss World 1998 and sexual assault advocate, Linor Abargil, tells her shocking story on her webpage. "...while I was modeling in Italy, I was brutally raped by an Israeli travel agent, and in November of that year... I was crowned Miss World." Her journey is a powerful one documented in the movie Brave Miss World, available on Netflix.

It doesn't stop there. Headlines involving violent acts against members of the fashion industry are hardly few and far between, and social media has increased the problem.

Model Mayhem is the Facebook of amateur modeling. Many models start building their portfolios using similar websites. In the article "Modeling website linked to disappearances, rape and human trafficking," author Evan Millward discloses that "Model Mayhem has a dangerous history. The National Women’s Coalition Against Violence and Exploitation said it can connect a dozen missing girls nationwide to the website...A woman said she was drugged, raped and trafficked during a supposed photo shoot she set up through Model Mayhem... The lawsuit states that Model Mayhem knew the two men had been committing these crimes to other women across the country and did not stop them or warn users on the site."

When a victim comes forth, many people want them to prove that they were actually raped, approaching them with a hurtful amount of skepticism. Then the thoughtless questions and comments that follow might include:

Well, what were you wearing?

What race was the assailant? (As if that helps determine the legitimacy of the crime.)

You're a pretty girl. You should have known that you needed to be extra careful.

Maybe you shouldn't have been naive/drinking/desperate for work so it wouldn't be your fault.

Your job/lifestyle/appearance gives people the wrong impression.

Why didn't you know better than trusting[insert rapists name here; usually a friend or acquaintance]? You're not street smart.

You should have been more careful.

Don't you think this could just be a misunderstanding?

Couldn't you have fought harder?

With police, judges, nurses, friends and family victim blaming in this way, it is a miracle that anyone reports the crime of rape at all. It's time we stop making rape victims feel ashamed because someone else acted like a remorseless, pervert.

Before anyone says anything to a rape victim they should think about a time someone hurt them, when events were completely out their control, leaving them in shock. This can go back to the 6th grade when a bully threw gum in your hair on a school bus, a time you were attacked for something you did not do, the day your dad walked out on your entire family, when someone punched you in the face because they had a bad day or even a racist hate crime you faced that left you feeling shame though it was not your fault. Now whatever your experience is, imagine someone telling you--You should have been more careful. What were you wearing? Are you sure it wasn't your fault? If you weren't so naive this wouldn't have happened. Now whose going to want to marry you? You should dress differently so it doesn't give people the wrong impression.

Just as true as the expression "players are gonna play" is the statement --rapists are going to rape, and someone out there is strong enough, perverted enough and persistent enough to rape any single person on this earth, let alone reading this article. Thank your creator if you have not encountered this sicko up to now. The answer to any of the offensive questions or comments people throw at rape survivors doesn't matter because if someone is sick enough to want to hurt another human being they will find a target.

Before blaming a rape victim try this exercise. Even if you are a bodybuilder, or 350 pounds and 7 feet tall, imagine a guy who is bigger and stronger than you coming into a room you have every right to be in such as a dentist office or movie theater. Without ever suspecting that he was psychotic, he holds you down and satisfies himself at the expense of injuring your most private body parts, stealing your dignity and self worth, robbing you of your femininity or masculinity and any sense of power or safety you ever had in your life. He may have even left you with a disease, or a baby.

After it is over, he walks away without saying a word and you are left feeling confused by what just occurred, and alone. That is when you realize you are not alone. The other people in the room are looking at YOU with disgust because they feel you should have been more careful. They think this even though, in reality, any one of them could have been the victim if they had chosen to sit in the chair you were sitting in.

While rape is definitely occurring in the world of fashion, it is happening in public parks, at work, in hospitals, it can happen in your car, at Disneyland, on college campuses, on a busy city street, atchurch, your seemingly empty bedroom, in a taxi, and even your front porch. Police officers are accused of drugging and raping women at bars, as well as during traffic stops. The assailants are most likely people you trust such as family members, friends or acquaintances.

Knowing these horrific events occur in common places like these, with individuals we should be able to trust, why is it that people still can't help but blame rape victims? This is why rape continues. If you blame the victim, you help spread the mentality that propagates violent rape and gives a pass to the rapist. Period. You are the problem.

Ending this mentality won't just change the dark side of the fashion industry. It would change the world.

For tips on what to do for, or how to talk to, your loved ones who have suffered sexual assault, check out Pandora's Project, read A Man's Guide to Helping a Woman Who Has Been Raped, and visit the RAINN website.

If you have been raped, you are strongly urged to call 911, and seek licensed counseling as soon as possible. For rape recovery services and resources in your area call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or dial 211 from your phone and speak to an operator about your options. Above all, do not blame yourself. Talk to people you trust about your experience or join a support group.

For men and woman who have struggled with controlling destructive thoughts, controlling others with their temper, endured struggling with feelings of depression, worthlessness and self esteem, as well as those who tend to act impulsively, endured a violent past or family life, see members of the opposite gender as sexual objects, suffered sexual abuse at any point in your life or become aroused by depictions of sexual violence--any of these are indications that you need to seek therapy immediately! There are many other symptoms that could lead to destructive behavior. The shame is in staying sick, not seeking help. Counseling centers such as the Fontana Counseling and Recovery Center work with individuals who need this type of help. It is never to late to become a better YOU. Many insurance companies cover counseling or psychotherapy, so don't wait!Read more at:sexy prom dresses uk | red prom dresses uk